Archive for December 7th, 2011

December 7, 2011

Real Cows Don’t Moo

Ask an adult what a cow says, and he will answer, “moo,” but he won’t really mean it. This is because adults have the life experience to know that the sound cows make isn’t “moo” per se; it’s more like “mmmmmmmmmhhhaaaa.”

Where am I going with this, right?

This weekend John taught Jacob what a cow says. This is a big deal because Jacob rarely repeats words we offer him, unless it’s something that sounds like “dog” or “three.” The thing that worries me is that John didn’t teach Jacob to say, “moo.” He taught him to say, “mmmmmmmmmhhhaaaa.” Except when Jacob says it, it’s more like, “ mmmmm.” As in, “Mmmmmm, that burger looks delicious.”

So now I am simply waiting for the day that Jacob goes to pre-school or kindergarten, or wherever it is that animal sounds are formally reviewed with children, and his teachers ask him what a cow says. They won’t believe he’s from Brooklyn.  They will believe how carnivorous he is, though. Can you get good marks for that? I imagine his report that day will look something like this:

“Smiled and laughed a lot. Gave affectionate head butts. Seemed very hungry when he saw a drawing of a cow. . . . Does this child eat vegetables?”

In the meantime, there isn’t really any doubt around here that the kid eats enough. Operation: Fatten That Child has been a raging success, and I’m beginning to suspect that the advice at his next well visit is going to be to cut back. Check out that belly.

 

 

A muffin and half an avocado a day keep the doctor away!

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